sunnuntaina, elokuuta 30, 2015

Things said about horses

There is a little book in my ample bookshelf dedicated to horse-related books. It is called 1001 Best Things Ever Said About Horses (edited by Steven D. Price). The sayings are about real horses, of course, not about virtual horses this blog usually talks about, but I assume that readers of this blog like the real horses as well as virtual horses. Here are the best (according to me) quotes from that book.

Love means attention, which means looking after the things we love.
We call this stable management.
– George H. Morris

You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.
– Will Rogers

There comes a point in every rider's life when he wonders if it's all worth it. Then one look at the horse, and he realizes – it is.
– Kelly Stewart

Many people have sighed for the "good old days" and regretted the "passing of the horse", but today, when only those who like horses own them, it is a far better time for horses.
– C. W. Anderson

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.

One day in heaven Saint Peter, Saint Paul and Saint John were standing around near the horse paddocks watching the horses frolic. "I am certainly bored", stated John. "Me too", Paul chimed as Peter stood and watched the horses. "I know!" Peter began. "Why don't we have a horse show?"
Paul and John thought that the idea was great except for one small detail. "Whom are we to compete against?" Paul asked. The trio pondered a moment when Peter realized the answer. "We will call up Satan and invite him to the horse show. I mean, we have all of the finest horses here in heaven, all of the world and national champions are here. His stable is ridden with the spoiled, difficult and mean horses. We are certain to win."
And so the trio called up Satan and invited him to their horse show. Satan laughed and asked why they would want to be humiliated like that, because he would certainly beat them. Peter, Paul and John did not understand. "What do you mean?" Paul asked. "We have all the national and world champion horses in our stable in heaven. How could you possibly beat us?"
Satan laughed. "Have you forgotten so soon, gentlemen? I have all the judges!"

One man's wrong lead is another man's counter-canter.
– S. D. Price

Time and patience are required of all good horsemen, so hurry when you are not around your horse.
– Bob Denhardt

There never was a rider so smart that some horse could not teach him a new trick. Because of this, horsemanship and horse training is a lifelong study.
– Paul T. Albert

The Pacific Ocean is off to your left. The Atlantic Ocean is off to your right. Your horse has got to stop sometime.
– Montana horseman to a visitor worried about being run away with

The shoulder-in is the aspirin of equation; it cures everything.
– Nuno Oliveira

Hardly any feeling is more distressing than the certain knowledge that you and your horse are about to part company, and it's remarkable how threatening even the softest, grassiest turf suddenly begins to look when you realize you're about to hit it hard, head—(or shoulder—) first.
– Michael Korda, Horse People

When I was a child, I used to jump bareback over fences four to four and a half feet high. I don't remember being afraid. I think my mother took custody of the fear for me, and my job was only not to fall off and not to let on how often I was jumping. When I came back to riding at forty-four, though, every little two-foot fence looked to me like a Puissance wall.
– Jane Smiley

Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.
– Sylvester Stallone

"Races are won with that seat, sir."
"Be damned to that", said my uncle Valentine. "If the horse is good enough, he'll win with the rider facing his tail."
– Donn Byrne, Destiny Bay

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never.
– Yiddish proverb

Every horse is good for something.
– Seabiscuit film

God first made Man. He thought better of it and made Woman.
When He got time He made the Horse, which has the courage and spirit of Man and the beauty and grace of Woman.
– Brazilian proverb

Never give up. For fifty years they said the horse was through.
Now look at him—a status symbol.
– Fletcher Knebel

There are times when you can trust your horse, times when you can't, and times when you have to.

Quality is like buying oats. If you want nice, clean, fresh oats, you must pay a fair price. However, if you can be satisfied with oats that have already been through the horse... that comes a little cheaper.

– S

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